OPINIONS+JUDGEMENT+GOSSIP+EFFORTS.

It's a new year and with the new year comes the inevitable introspection.  For me, as evidenced by my lack of posting for the last quarter of 2011, the introspection rang clear quite early on. As logical as one can be, my reaction to my own self-loathing was one of constant rejection and analyzation. But the neurological aversion was pungent. Reminding me at every turn that I might not be as self-assertive and self-actualizing as my actions and behavior might have indicated. That, for me, was unacceptable. To realize that I was--for lack of a better word--a half-ass. Going through the motions expecting, expecting fate to solely materialize the necessities or desires of which I marginalized. After realization and latent nausea, I became tired of settling, tired of my own mediocrity and it's consistent applause. All the voluntary advice was shelled, emptied. I extracted this. With all the help and support from those I know, I could not ask of them what I truly needed to change, but I could begin to set more boundaries, and most importantly standards--not for others--for myself. I thought "these, will be the pillars of an extremely complex foundation. A complex, strong, balanced foundation built on standards, of research, work, humanity, and humility." The symbolism was expected and completely condescending. But I can't keep second guessing myself...

I watched many of these...but this one made me smile after not smiling for a long period of time. I found his to be a refreshing succinct logic and after working through all--well, enough--of the muck and the mire...




I got up. And this is where I stand. A quarter of a century in and starting over, in many ways. A new home, new standards, new habits, new cameras, and hopefully soon-ish a new WEBSITE (!!!).

Thanks to all of you who were so patient and supportive.

I'm back! With bigger ganas than ever...